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To whom do we turn

  February, 2014 Center Street Coaching Newsletter To Whom Do We Turn? To Whom Do We Turn Sad Reminders Quick Links www.centerstreetcoaching.com www.sonomacouplesretreat.com To Whom Do We Turn THE PROBLEM Who can we look to to stop the killing of humans by humans,to feed the hungry a bowl of rice every day, to end slavery, to hold accountable those who destroy our water and land, to protect the children and...

Winter got you down?

January, 2014 Center Street Coaching Newsletter Winter got you down? Winter Got You Down? Needs Unmet Pushing Past Anger I Can't Not When I started my first practice in New Jersey many years ago I created a business plan which I took to my CPA to determine if I was being practical. In my business plan I had all the aspects of starting a business....the start up costs, the market, the demographics, the pot...

Speak so you can be heard

January, 2014 Center Street Coaching Newsletter Building bridges with good communication The Examined Life: A chance to foster a better you Styles of Communication Speak so you can be heard Quick Links Register Now About Us Related Topics             Styles of Communication Passive:  Timid, inclusive, not forthcoming.  Leaves the person feeling a victim and powerless Aggressive:  Intimidating, co...

How do you express yourself

How do you communicate with your partner/spouse/lover. Passive:  Timid, inclusive and not forthcoming.  This kind of self expression reinforces  feelings of powerlessness and a victimhood. Aggressive:  Intimidating, competitive and often angry.  This kind of self expressions reinforces feelings of fear of the other and alienation. Passive-aggressive:  Sarcastic, disingenuous and body language (which speaks volumes) doesn't match the spoken words.  This kind of self expression leaves the speaker feeling misunderstood. Assertive:  Clear, direct, appropriate language.  The sp...

Stop judging, just make the change!

I'm 70 years old.  I have two sons, two daughters-in-law and four grown grandchildren.  I've been married a few times, lived in many placed, travelled to more, left friends and lovers behind, found new ones, made mistakes, did a few things right.  I am blessed with a family who loves me in spite of it all. My journey is not unlike that of any others, only for the details is it unique to me.  The most important change in my life was waking up and noticing my behaviors WITHOUT JUDGING THEM.....just noticing and checking in with where they fit in with my values.  Were they working, were they...

It Only Gets Better

December, 2013 Center Street Coaching Newsletter It only gets better! Table of Contents A dog named Charlie Sometimes its just luck! Sometimes its just bad luck! Introducing a new book Beyond the Law of Attraction: A Strategy for Success Sometimes it's just luck.... Charlie didn't do a thing to have the life he has....it was pure luck....and he was cute and he's a dog. Yet, there are those times when, say, you leave your purse on the t...

The Authentic Self

Dear Reader: Garden apartment on Walraven Drive, Teaneck, NJ When I was a very little girl I lived in a "garden" apartment. There wasn't a garden to be seen but that's what they were called.  There was a play ground area and an area with lots of clothes lines but no gardens.  The apartment buildings surrounded a huge lawn with a spreading chestnut tree smack dab in the middle.  That's where we all played with neighborhood kids while mothers were glancing out the windows every now and then to make sure we were all behaving. Now then, Marvin w...

How can I make you happy!

                                                                 Can you make your partner miserable?  Conversely can you make your partner happy?   Well, both and neither . Certainly a cantankerous spouse can create a dispirited environment in which to live and a loving, generous spouse can create a joyful environment. However, as a couples' coach I often hear one partner say, "I just want to make her/him happy."  Or equally as often "He/she makes me so angry/frustrated/jealous.  The operative word here is "makes". All abuse aside, no one can mak...

Intimate lovers and best friends

So often when couples start their retreat or relationship counseling they say they want things to go back to the way they were when they first fell in love.  I say....oh no!  You deserve much more than that.  I'm referring to abiding love.  The kind of love that is based on mutual respect and dignity. Once there is compassion, cooperation, communication and connection going on in the relationship there is a sense of safety and trust.  In that environment of safety, expectations become agreements, giving is unconditional, differences are  valued, all communications are empathic and there ...

“Forever” takes commitment to the relationship

   Commitment is making the choice to give up choice  It takes a commitment to a relationship to bring it to the next level.  It takes a commitment to do the work that's involved, as welll.  In couples coaching partners learn how to communicate until the words each hears from the other are no longer the words in their own head and words are spoken in such a way that they CAN be heard.  It really boils down to safety...keeping each other feeling safe.... speaking no criticism, no blaming, no shaming, no  name calling nor sarcasm and listening until the words you hear are other than you...